but rather, i was left speechless, am still, with heaviness in my head and heart.
i see a father playing with his 2 pet dogs like Ash the Pokemon trainer with his Pikachu or somesort. a close and loving bond so seemingly strong that he seemed to have forgotten he has children. his own children.
met my new aunt from China again, together with her newborn son who was in deep slumber. reminded me of the times when i first saw my sister, and the days i had taken care of her ever since day 1.
i had quite a few cynical and unfruitful comments i wanted to tell my new aunt. stuff like "you should cherish the present bliss you have now because you never know when you and your child might lose it" and some other stuff i kinda forget, and am glad that i did. little Dominic, inasmuch indifference i may feel towards you and your mum now, i do hope a good future is ahead of you; after all, you are already somewhat, a victim.
grandpa's portrait stood silently in front of the dining hall, and watched us have our meal. grandma served us her special dark-sauce sauteed prawns while my brother was busy texting his new girlfriend.
don't really have to add on to the heartbreak for my granny with the cold truth that i'm single and different, really.
God, if you're reading this, is today's reunion dinner just another show? another drama to make me feel confused about my existence in this family and world?
"what do you wanna do/be in the near future?"
i don't know anymore; i don't really care actually?
as i speak i'm still talking to you. i'm probably just making things worse for myself.
FML
